HOW WAS YOUR POSTPARTUM EXPERIENCE?

While it never turned out the way I hoped it would be in the initial days, my postpartum experience was deeply supported and nourished. My daughter arrived powerfully and safely earth side at home in warm waters, straight into her daddy's arms and in the presence of our doula. Labouring at home and entering the birth portal this way was a deeply magic experience.

The portal of death was open on this night too though - thankfully it closed before I was able to fully enter it. Due to a haemorrhage we spent the first 4 days in hospital so I was able to receive the care I needed, including a manual placenta removal and both a blood and iron transfusion to start the recovery process. While deeply grateful for the care I needed and for the warmth of the midwives in the ward , the experience was deeply jarring on the senses and left me holding so much at once - the joy and the pain, the love and the fear, the celebration and the grief.

While moving through my recovery process and immersing into the newborn bubble, I was held. We had support from friends to be with our first born, we had meals delivered to our door and I had healing and warming touch to support my healing and recovery process.

WHAT DID YOU FIND MOST CHALLENGING?

There were a few aspects I found challenging and while I knew these were going to be present, they still required a deep acceptance and surrender as I moved through them.

As I was recovering from a haemorrhage too, I found it challenging to be on a cocktail of antibiotics after the manual placenta removal and blood loss and the daily adjustment to being in a body that was in pain, trauma  and discomfort from the experience. I also found it difficult not being able to be with my first born in the ways I was able to before, especially as he moved through the transition of leaving his nursery and starting at a new space. I needed to keep bringing myself back to prioritising my physical, mental and emotional health and while this meant that I missed out on some important things for him at the time, I knew that by dedicating to this, I was ensuring I was able to be there for him with more vitality and presence once I was able to and going forward.

HOW DID YOU PREPARE FOR YOUR POSTPARTUM? 

I prepared myself first with delving into the work and understanding of the mammoth transition women make from maiden to mother as well as taking the time to read and research the ways to respect and honour the mother baby dyad, especially during the first 3 months. I didn’t have any postpartum understanding, knowledge or preparation with my first and this ultimately led to a slow spiral of depletion, insomnia and depression. I knew I didn’t want this again for myself and my family and had now came to the deep understanding and wisdom that what a new baby really needs is a well nourished, rested and connected mother.

I realised very quickly that it is ultimately my responsibility to ask for the support I need to bring this postpartum vision to life and I would need to step into a place of advocating for mine and my family’s needs during this transition. I brought together my circle of women and informed them of how myself and my family could be supported at this time, mostly through dropping off meals and supporting with childcare with my first born as priority. I also spent time with friends cooking and packing the freezer with nourishing meals before birth (a lot of the recipes from The First Forty Days) and had bookmarked pages in recipes books for my partner to prepare when he was able.  Nourishment was deeply important to me.

Another part of my postpartum healing was touch and I had regular reflexology treatment with my friend and reflexologist who came to my home and emanated such warmth and care to her visits. I found making time for myself in this way and to have someone I could confide in as my body moved through different stages of the healing process deeply nurturing.

As an aromatherapist I also prepared my bathroom with handmade bath salts and healing body oils and my nursing stations with facial spritz, which I found to be so refreshing and comforting to use. Ritual is sacred to me and having these reminded me to constantly drop into honouring different phases of healing as I moved through my days.

I had prepared for all of these for post birth, yet these become even more important as I found myself recovering from a near death experience too.

IF YOU WERE TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD DO DIFFERENTLY, WHAT LESSONS DID YOU TAKE AWAY FROM YOUR PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE?

It feels safe to say that there wasn’t anything I would do differently this time around, I had received so many lessons from my first born and had prepared in the best way I knew how for my second. The support and love I receive were so helpful for my experience. 

WHAT ARE YOUR 3 TOP TIPS THAT YOU WOULD PASS ON TO MOTHERS SOON TO BE POSTPARTUM?

Really get into the habit of asking for help and support and in the same breath, allow yourself to receive it in the ways it comes to you. Once you open up to this, you will be surprised how much people want to be of support and how they offer this and how each person shows up for you.

Protect your first forty days and ensure that your partner does too. This will look different for everyone and it is important for you to know what your boundaries are around this. I personally found it really important to have the first 2 weeks without external visitors coming into the sacred baby bubble. While it can be tempting to “just let one person in” or “come in for a quick coffee” that really can affect your comfort and the energy of your space. Those first precious weeks go so quickly and I am so happy to have committed to keeping this for just for us.

Stock your freezer, all the way to the top! While you partner may feel he can do the cooking or you may have people bringing meals, there will be times where good food simply just needs to be available. I can remember the relief every time we were able to do this and was so happy to have prepared for this.